{"id":94798,"date":"2024-10-17T12:10:21","date_gmt":"2024-10-17T05:10:21","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lorevista.com\/?p=94798"},"modified":"2025-03-13T15:25:34","modified_gmt":"2025-03-13T08:25:34","slug":"a-70-year-old-man-has-never-been-married","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorevista.com\/a-70-year-old-man-has-never-been-married\/","title":{"rendered":"A 70-year-old man has never been married&hellip;"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span style='\"font-size:'>A 70-year-old man has never been married\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'>One day, he meets a beautiful 17-year-old girl, and it is l0ve at first sight&hellip;\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'>They get married and go to Florida for their honeymoon. When they get back, tel friend, how was him,\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'><img fetchpriority='\"high\"' decoding='\"async\"' class='\"aligncenter' size-full wp-image-117527 src="%5C%22https:%5C/%5C/lorevista.com%5C/wp-content%5C/uploads%5C/2024%5C/10%5C/A-70-year-old-man-has-never-been-married.png%5C%22" alt='\"\"' width='\"732\"' height='\"915\"' srcset='\"https:\/\/lorevista.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/A-70-year-old-man-has-never-been-married.png' https: sizes='\"(max-width:'>\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'>\u201cOh, it was beautiful,\u201d says the man. \u201c\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'>The sun, the surf, we made l0:ve almost every night, we &ndash;\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'>\u201d His friend interrupts him. \u201cA man your age! How did you make l0:ve al!most every night?\u2019\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'>\u201dOh,\u201d says the man, \u201cwe al!most made l0:ve Monday, we al!most made l0:ve Tuesday.\u201d\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'><strong>Not enough?\n<h3><span style='\"font-size:'>Let&rsquo;s enjoy a few light-hearted jokes and stories about a 70-year-old man who has never been married:\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'><strong>1. The Perfect Bachelor:\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'>Once, a 70-year-old man named Harold was asked why he never got married. He replied, &ldquo;I always thought I\u2019d find the perfect woman. But after 70 years, I realized I was just being picky. At this point, my criteria is down to two things: breathing and not trying to take my last slice of pizza!&rdquo;\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'><strong>2. A Wedding Invitation:\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'>Harold received a wedding invitation from a younger relative. He chuckled and said, &ldquo;I can\u2019t believe it! At my age, I\u2019m the last one standing! If I go to this wedding, I might just end up being the one who catches the bouquet\u2014then what?!&rdquo;\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'><strong>3. The Relationship Expert:\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'>One day, Harold decided to share his wisdom on love with his friends. &ldquo;You know,&rdquo; he said, &ldquo;I\u2019ve never been married, so I\u2019m basically a relationship expert. I\u2019ve perfected the art of commitment by committing to my couch and TV remote for 70 years. It\u2019s a full-time job!&rdquo;\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'><strong>4. The Dating App Dilemma:\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'>Curious about modern dating, Harold signed up for a dating app. After a week, he told his friends, &ldquo;I didn\u2019t realize I had to compete with photos of women holding fish and skydiving! I just wanted to find someone who likes bingo and can tolerate my cat\u2019s attitude!&rdquo;\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'><strong>5. The Secret to Longevity:\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'>At a family gathering, someone asked Harold his secret to a long life. He grinned and said, &ldquo;Simple! I never had to deal with in-laws, and I always kept my own side of the bed warm with my collection of blankets. Plus, no one argues about what to watch on TV!&rdquo;\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A 70-year-old man has never been married One day, he meets a beautiful 17-year-old girl, and it is l0ve at first sight&hellip; They get married and go to Florida for their honeymoon. When they get back, tel friend, how was him, \u201cOh, it was beautiful,\u201d says the man. \u201c The sun, the surf, we made\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":117527,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"none","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[676],"tags":[375],"class_list":{"0":"post-94798","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-jokes","8":"tag-jokes-funny-laugh"},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/lorevista.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/A-70-year-old-man-has-never-been-married.png","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorevista.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/94798","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorevista.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorevista.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorevista.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorevista.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=94798"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/lorevista.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/94798\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":117529,"href":"https:\/\/lorevista.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/94798\/revisions\/117529"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorevista.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/117527"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorevista.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=94798"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorevista.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=94798"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorevista.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=94798"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}</p></span></p></strong></span></p></span></p></strong></span></p></span></p></strong></span></p></span></p></strong></span></p></span></p></strong></span></p></span></h3></strong></span></p></span></p></span></p></span></p></span></p></span></p></span></p></span></p></span></p>