#jokes – LoreVista https://lorevista.com Make Your Day Mon, 13 Jan 2025 07:16:06 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://lorevista.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/cropped-Black-Vintage-Emblem-Tree-Logo-1-32x32.png #jokes – LoreVista https://lorevista.com 32 32 231211893 When He Saw This Fish, He Cried Loudly… Here’s Why… https://lorevista.com/when-he-saw-this-fish-he-cried-loudly-heres-why/ Mon, 13 Jan 2025 07:16:06 +0000 https://lorevista.com/?p=107388 When He Saw This Fish, He Cried Loudly… Here’s Why

Imagine going fishing with someone you love, sharing laughter, quiet moments, and the thrill of the catch. Now, picture that same experience years later, when one small fish brings back a flood of memories—so powerful that it brings tears to his eyes.

Why did he cry?

It wasn’t just any fish—it was the fish they had caught together during one unforgettable trip. The memories of that day, the bond they shared, and the love they had for each other all came rushing back. And in that moment, seeing that familiar creature once again, he was overwhelmed with emotion.

This story isn’t just about fishing; it’s about the power of memories and how a simple trigger can transport us back to cherished moments. Sometimes, even the smallest things can remind us of the people who meant the most to us.

What memory has brought you to tears?

Is it a song, a photo, or perhaps a shared experience that continues to live in your heart?

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I Woke Up at 4 AM to Make Breakfast for My Hard-Working Husband and Ended Up Filing for Divorce… https://lorevista.com/i-woke-up-at-4-am-to-make-breakfast-for-my-hard-working-husband-and-ended-up-filing-for-divorce/ Tue, 05 Nov 2024 08:37:02 +0000 https://lorevista.com/?p=97526 33-year-old Angela has never even imagined that her happy, stable family life would crack and fall apart in one single day. She sent us a letter where she shared her story, and she emphasized that her failure didn’t make her weak and helpless. Driving strength from her misfortune, Angela decided to share it with our readers to get some fresh opinions about her intricate family situation.

Angela wrote us a heartfelt and emotional letter.


My husband, Max, 36, and I have been married for over 10 years. We’ve always been what people call ’an ideal couple’, because we managed to survive through many storms in our married life and still remain faithful, loyal and loving towards each other. At least I thought so, but recently I was heavily disillusioned.

Angela was worried about her spouse’s well-being and health.

My husband has been working too hard for the past 3 weeks. He barely ate all this time. He lost weight and looked exhausted. I was seriously worried about him. Recently, I woke up at 4 am to make him an early breakfast. He was still sleeping.

I went to the kitchen and froze in shock, because I saw an unfamiliar woman, standing near our cooking stove. She was chopping vegetables, apparently for some salad, and she was behaving like she was familiar with all the things in our kitchen.

I started screaming, the woman turned around, made a ’shh’-sign and said, ’I thought you’d wake up even earlier. We need to talk, Angela. About Max, you and me. I’m here to shed a light on many things in your life, after our talk you’ll probably hate me, but you have to know the truth.

Angela wasn’t prepared for the harsh truth coming from a strange woman in her kitchen.
I asked her about who she was and how she managed to come to my house, unnoticed. She said that she had a key and showed it to me. It, indeed, was the key to our house. She asked me to sit down, and when I reluctantly did, she introduced herself.

Her name is Miranda, she said, she’s 28, and she’s my husband’s mistress. She told me that she and Max had been together for over 2 years now, and she boldly stated that they were so in love with one another that they were going to get married one day.

Then, she told me she was 5 months pregnant, from my husband. And that was their long-awaited child. The pregnancy was a high-risk one, about a month ago she was diagnosed with placental hyperplasia, which meant she needed to take care of herself even more than before, there was a high risk of miscarriage.

Miranda told me that all these 3 weeks, my husband was spending time with her. He took a vacation from work and was taking care of her and their future baby. He was worried about the pregnancy, this is why he could hardly eat anything. And he told me he had a lot of work, because of their company’s worsened balance.

Angela’s strength in such a painful situation deserves all admiration.

Miranda told me that she made a duplicate of our key in advance. She’d been here before, and this is why she knew my kitchen like the back of her hand. She’d been preparing for this conversation, and Max didn’t know anything about her intentions, otherwise he’d have talked her out of this idea.

She pleaded me to leave my husband for the sake of their happiness, and I was just sitting there, in my own kitchen, with that strange woman, who wanted to be an owner of my happy life, and I couldn’t say a word.

When she stopped talking, I finally regained my composure. I heard my husband coughing nervously behind my back. He woke up, and he was just standing there, listening to the final phrases of his mistress. I stood up, approached him, looked him straight in the eye and wished him to be happy. Max was trying to say something, but I didn’t listen. I left without saying anything else to him and Miranda.

Surprisingly, I wasn’t feeling bad at all. I felt relieved. I know that wrong people come into our lives to show us that we deserve better. And now, while I’m in the process of divorce, I’m ready to start a happy life, with my own house, with a decent sum of financial compensation and with a heart full of hopes.

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Two ladies swap ‘How I Died’ stories in heaven — and the punchline is priceless… https://lorevista.com/two-ladies-swap-how-i-died-stories-in-heaven-and-the-punchline-is-priceless/ Tue, 05 Nov 2024 08:21:05 +0000 https://lorevista.com/?p=97517 Two ladies swap ‘How I Died’ stories in heaven — and the punchline is priceless

I came across this hilarious story and just had to share it! It’s a funny twist on what might happen if two ladies met in heaven and swapped their “how did you get here” stories.

Here’s how it went:

1st woman: Hi! My name is Wanda!

2nd woman: Hi! I’m Sylvia. How’d you die?

1st woman: I froze to death.

2nd woman: How horrible!

1st woman: It wasn’t so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you?

2nd woman: I… died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV.

1st woman: So, what happened?

2nd woman: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic and searched,and down into the basement. Then I went through every closet and checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I had looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died.

1st woman: Too bad you didn’t look in the freezer—we’d both still be alive!

Remember, laughter is the best medicine, so be sure to send this on to someone whose day you want to brighten!

BONUS STORY – 4 NUNS GO TO HEAVEN

A bus full of nuns falls of a cliff and they all die. They arrive at the gates of Heaven and meet St. Peter.

St. Peter says to them, “Sisters, welcome to Heaven. In a moment I will let you all though the pearly gates, but before I may do that, I must ask each of you a single question. Please form a single-file line.”

And they do so.

St. Peter turns to the first nun in the line and asks her, “Sister, have you ever touched a penis?”

The sister responds, “Well, there was this one time… that I kinda sorta… touched one with the tip of my pinky finger…”

St. Peter says, “Alright sister, now dip the tip of your pinky finger in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted.”

She does so, and is let into Heaven.

St. Peter now turns to the second nun and says, “Sister, have you ever touched a penis?”

“Well…. there was this one time… that I held one for a moment…”

“Alright sister, now just wash your hands in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted.”

She does so, and is let into Heaven.

Now at this, there is a noise, a jostling in the line. It seems that one nun is trying to cut in front of another!

St. Peter sees this and asks the nun, “Sister Susan, what is this? There is no rush!”

Sister Susan responds, “Well, if I’m going to have to gargle this stuff, I’d rather do it before Sister Mary sticks her ass in it!”

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A hilarious blonde joke I’ve never heard before… https://lorevista.com/a-hilarious-blonde-joke-ive-never-heard-before/ Tue, 05 Nov 2024 08:16:04 +0000 https://lorevista.com/?p=97509 Blonde jokes may be a classic, but they never fail to surprise.

When this young, blonde PE teacher tried to cheer up a seemingly shy student, she found herself in a hilarious mix-up that could have come straight from a sitcom. Some misunderstandings are just too funny — and this one’s a perfect example of why blonde jokes keep us laughing!


A young blonde landed a job as a physical education teacher for a group of 16-year-olds. As she supervised the students playing soccer on the field, she noticed one boy standing alone at the far end, away from the group.

Feeling sympathy for the boy, she approached him.

“Hey there, everything alright?” she asked kindly.

The boy nodded. Sensing his reluctance to join the game, she encouraged him, saying, “You can go and have fun with the others, you know.”

To her surprise, the boy shook his head.

“I think it’s best if I stay here,” he replied.

The teacher inquired further, “And why is that, honey?”

The boy looked at her confused and said, “Because I’m the goalie!”

Now press SHARE to spread the laugh to all your friends!

BONUS: BLONDE JOKE #1

A manager at Walmart had the task of hiring someone to fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack of resumes, he found four people who were equally qualified. He decided to call the four women in and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine which of them would get the job.

The day came and as the four women sat around the conference room table. The atmosphere was tense and competitive, but they still managed to stay friendly with each other.

The interviewer asked, “Now, what is the fastest thing you can think of?”

The first woman replied, “A thought! It just pops into your head. There’s no warning – it just happens, like that.”

She snapped her fingers demonstratively, happy with her quick answer.

“That’s very good!” replied the interviewer. “And, now you, what’s the fastest thing you can think of?” he asked the second woman.

“Hmmm, let’s see… A blink! It comes and goes so fast that you don’t even notice it happening. A blink is the fastest thing I know.”

“Excellent!” said the interviewer. “The blink of an eye, that’s a very popular cliché for speed.”

Unexpected reply
He then turned to the third woman, who was contemplating her reply carefully.

“Well, out at my dad’s ranch, you step out of the house and on the wall there’s a light switch. When you flip that switch, way out across the pasture, the light on the barn comes on in less than an instant. Yep, turning on a light is the fastest thing I can think of.”

The interviewer was very impressed with the third answer and thought he had found the person for the job. “True, it’s hard to beat the speed of light,” he said.

The interviewer then turned to the fourth candidate, who was a 19 year old blonde, and posed the same question.

She replied, “After hearing the previous three answers, it’s obvious to me that the fastest thing is diarrhea.”

“WHAT!?” exclaimed the interviewer, stunned by her reply, his mouth gaping.

“Oh sure,” said the blonde, “You see, the other day I wasn’t feeling so good, and I ran for the bathroom. But before I could think, blink, or turn on the light, I had already crapped my pants!”

BONUS: BLONDE JOKE #2

18-year-old blonde causes chaos on plane – pilot whispers 6 words that shut her up instantly

A commercial airplane is in flight to Chicago. One of the flight attendants is asking a young and beautiful blonde, who sat on a free seat in first class, to go back to her seat in economy class.

“You’ve only paid for economy class,” says the flight attendant.

“I’m blonde, I’m beautiful”
The confident 18-year-old woman responds:

“I’m blonde, I’m beautiful, I’m sexy, I’m going to Chicago and I’m not moving from this seat!”

The flight attendant asks a few more times but eventually gives up. So she asks the co-pilot for help, but he gets the same response:

“I’m blonde, I’m beautiful, I’m sexy, I’m going to Chicago and I’m not moving from this seat! Stop annoying me!

Young blonde

Then the co-pilot goes back to the cockpit and asks the captain what to do.

“What do they look like?” asks the captain.

“A blonde, probably not even on her twenties yet.”

“I’ll handle this,” replies the captain. “I’m married to a blonde. I speak blonde.”

He goes back to first class, leans down next to the woman and whispers quietly in her ear.

Everyone is sh0cked
Then she hurries back to her seat in economy class — and sits with her arms crossed while mumbling.

“Why didn’t they say that from the beginning…?”

The flight attendant and the co-pilot are shocked, so they ask the captain what did he say to her.

Captain response:

“I told her that first class isn’t going to Chicago.”

Now press SHARE to spread the laugh to all your friends!

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92-yr-old’s epic response to a teenager’s wild hair will leave you in stitches https://lorevista.com/92-yr-olds-epic-response-to-a-teenagers-wild-hair-will-leave-you-in-stitches/ Tue, 05 Nov 2024 08:11:34 +0000 https://lorevista.com/?p=97502 I came across this funny story on the internet, and it’s too good not to share! Someone took their 92-year-old dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes. Afterward, they decided to grab a bite at the food court.

While sitting there, the dad couldn’t help but notice a teenager next to him with wild hair, and what happened next will have you laughing out loud…

Get ready for some classic grandad humor!

Okay, here’s how the story goes: I’m not sure if it really happened or if it’s made up, but either way – it’s absolutely brilliant!

”I took my dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes (he is 92). We decided to grab a bite at the food court. I noticed he was watching a teenager sitting next to him. The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, and blue. My dad kept staring at him. The teenager would look and find him staring every time.”

When the teenager had had enough, he sarcastically asked, “What’s the matter, old man, never done anything wild in your life?”

Knowing my dad, I quickly swallowed my food so that I would not choke on his response, knowing he would have a good one. In classic style, he did not bat an eye in his response.

Got drunk once and had s3x with a peacock , I was just wondering if you were my son!

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Man’s hilarious response to “T-G-I-F” leaves blonde absolutely speechless https://lorevista.com/mans-hilarious-response-to-t-g-i-f-leaves-blonde-absolutely-speechless/ Tue, 15 Oct 2024 09:34:53 +0000 https://lorevista.com/?p=94558 Man’s hilarious response to “T-G-I-F” leaves blonde absolutely speechless

Laughter is often said to be the best medicine, and for good reason! It brings joy, boosts our mood, and even prolongs our lives.

When a blonde woman greeted an older man with a bright, “T-G-I-F.” she had no idea it would lead to an unexpected exchange…

His hilarious reply not only caught her off guard but also turned an ordinary Friday into a moment of pure joy…. Curious about what he said that made her laugh so hard?

Keep reading to discover the punchline…

A businessman got on an elevator.

When he entered, there was a blonde already inside who greeted him with a bright, “T-G-I-F.”

He smiled at her and replied, “S-H-I-T.”

She looked puzzled and repeated, “T-G-I-F,” more slowly.

He again answered, “S-H-I-T.”

The blonde was trying to keep it friendly, so she smiled her biggest smile, and said as sweetly as possible, “T-G-I-F.”

The man smiled back at her and once again, “S-H-I-T.”

The exasperated blonde finally decided to explain. “‘T-G-I-F’ means ‘Thank God, It’s Friday!’ Get it, duuhhh?”

The man answered, “S-H-I-T means ‘Sorry, Honey, It’s Thursday’—duuhhh.”

Why not share a laugh today? Whether it’s with a friend, family member, or even a stranger, let the laughter echo and brighten someone’s day.

After all, a shared laugh is a moment worth cherishing! If this story made you smile, don’t forget to share it with others—because everyone deserves a little humor in their lives!

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The Contrast of Icons: Sophia Loren’s Wisdom vs. Jayne Mansfield’s Wild Spirit https://lorevista.com/the-contrast-of-icons-sophia-lorens-wisdom-vs-jayne-mansfields-wild-spirit/ Fri, 11 Oct 2024 04:36:52 +0000 https://lorevista.com/?p=94039 In 1957, a moment captured on camera showed Sophia Loren giving Jayne Mansfield the side-eye—a striking snapshot of two Hollywood icons representing different approaches to fame and life. While Mansfield was known for her glamorous, carefree lifestyle and whirlwind romances, Loren embodied a more measured and thoughtful approach.

Sophia Loren, who continues to grace the world with her presence, took her journey through life slow and smart, focusing on her craft and personal growth. Her elegance and grace set her apart in an industry often dominated by fleeting moments of fame.

In contrast, Mansfield’s life was marked by a series of high-profile relationships and a lifestyle that embraced the chaos of stardom. While she captivated audiences with her beauty and charm, the whirlwind of her choices ultimately contributed to her tragic early demise.

This juxtaposition serves as a reminder that while the allure of a wild lifestyle may seem enticing, it often comes with its own set of challenges. Loren’s longevity and success highlight the importance of wisdom and restraint, offering a valuable lesson: sometimes, the slow and steady path leads to a more fulfilling and enduring legacy.

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My Husband Was Mocking My Underwear in a Group Chat with His Friends – He Soon Regretted It… https://lorevista.com/my-husband-was-mocking-my-underwear-in-a-group-chat-with-his-friends-he-soon-regretted-it/ https://lorevista.com/my-husband-was-mocking-my-underwear-in-a-group-chat-with-his-friends-he-soon-regretted-it/#respond Thu, 23 May 2024 08:13:45 +0000 https://lorevista.com/?p=77734 Tom and I, Anna, had been squeezing pennies like crazy for months. This was all because my husband had his sights set on a beautiful new sports automobile that he had been admiring. Money was limited, so I had to put all of my personal desires on hold.

That meant refraining from renewing my clothes. It meant I couldn’t even upgrade my makeup or underwear collection. We were in full savings mode, so even minor purchases were out of the question.

Two days ago, when cleaning up the living room, I discovered Tom’s phone needed to be charged. As soon as I picked it up, a notification appeared. I typically respect his privacy, but the screen showed a preview of a photo pop-up that drew my attention.

When I looked closely at the image, I discovered it was my own underwear drawer! I unlocked his phone out of curiosity. I found myself going through a group chat featuring his closest buddies.

There, alongside a photo of my plain, utilitarian underwear, was my husband’s comment. I couldn’t believe my eyes as I read him saying he “doesn’t remember marrying a granny.” The caption for the post read, “Check out Anna’s granny panties!”

The message was met with a rush of laughing emojis and taunting remarks from his buddies. My heart just dropped! I was humiliated, hurt, and felt completely betrayed. I couldn’t believe it! My spouse was insulting me among his pals!

They’d written comments like, “Does your mother know Anna has her underwear?” as well “Well that underwear is surely a mood killer in the bedroom.” I couldn’t keep reading the remarks from his buddies as they got worse.

When he returned home, I didn’t say anything because I wasn’t sure how to handle the situation without making him seem like I was snooping. I tried to appear normal so he wouldn’t notice my concern, but I couldn’t get the whole incident out of my head.

The next morning, I met up with Tom’s mother, Joyce, for brunch. I tried to act normal around her too, but my mother-in-law (MIL), ever so perceptive, noticed something was off. I ended up spilling everything, from the group chat to how small and humiliated I felt.

Instead of the shock or disappointment I expected, a mischievous glint appeared in Joyce’s eyes. Leaning forward, she whispered conspiratorially:

“Leave it to me, dear. I know exactly what to do.”

You will not believe what happens next! Imagine this: When Tom returned home that evening, he discovered me altered! I was dressed in an amazing red gown, with my hair styled and cosmetics professionally applied.

As he walked in, his jaw dropped when he realized how hot I looked!

“Wow, you look wonderful! “Where did this all come from?” Tom asked. His voice was full of astonishment and perplexity.

“Your car fund,” I replied, my tone steady though I couldn’t bring myself to meet his eyes. “You did what? We were saving that—” Tom’s confusion quickly turned to anger.

Before he could continue, Joyce walked in, her presence commanding calm. “I suggested she treat herself,” my MIL interjected. “Seems to me you need a reminder of how to appreciate and respect your wife.”

Joyce’s tone softened but remained firm as she continued. “Also, we’ve established that I’m the only granny here. So we thought it’s fair that Anna gets some beautiful underwear that matches her stunning outfit.”

She explained further, “We thought she deserved something elegant, not to be mocked or shared in any chat.”

Tom, flustered and now clearly outnumbered, tried to argue. He looked guilty and remorseful, but his response was futile against his mother’s resolute stance.

“You’ve learned a hard lesson today, son. Maybe next time, you’ll think twice before making fun of someone who sacrifices so much for you.”

As Joyce and I prepared to leave for a dinner out—just the two of us—I paused and picked up Tom’s phone. I snapped a glamorous selfie and sent it to his group chat with a message:

“Granny’s going out tonight, guys!”

Tom watched us leave, the silence of the house echoing the shock of his newfound realization. Leaving the house with my MIL, I felt a mix of vindication and deep appreciation for her support. I was so happy to have a loving and supportive MIL who made me feel special and seen.

I know there are a lot of stories about how mothers-in-law generally mistreat their daughters-in-law, but my case is different. During our outing, I told Joyce, “Thanks for all the support, Mom. I don’t know what I would’ve done without your help and wisdom.” She reached out her hands and held mine, stating:

“Tom might be my son, but you’re my daughter and I will not stand by as long as I’m alive while he abuses you.”


That evening wasn’t only about teaching my husband a lesson. It was a pivotal moment in reclaiming my self-worth and dignity. All with an unexpected ally by my side!

When I returned home I found Tom ready with flowers and a romantic set-up with chocolates and other desserts. “I’m so sorry for taking you for granted and not showing you the respect you deserve,” he said sincerely.

Knowing he wasn’t a bad person, I was willing to forgive him. “What you did was VERY hurtful, Tom,” I explained, adding that it was something I would never wish on my enemy. “I get it now, love. I betrayed your trust, and I am determined to do whatever it takes to rebuild it.”

I pledged to give him a chance and expected rapid results. He replied by texting his group chat about how bad it was for him to make fun of his wife. My spouse also erased all posts regarding me. He even implored his pals to never let him do anything like that again.

His friends showed remorse, and Tom and I agreed to get couples counseling. We realized something was off in our relationship if he could sideline me the way he had to have his needs met. I won’t claim our relationship is perfect, but it sure is a work in progress.

 

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An Elderly Woman Hurried To The Pharmacy https://lorevista.com/an-elderly-woman-hurried-to-the-pharmacy/ https://lorevista.com/an-elderly-woman-hurried-to-the-pharmacy/#respond Mon, 15 Apr 2024 03:03:27 +0000 https://lorevista.com/?p=73945 An Elderly Woman Hurried To The Pharmacy

An elderly woman hurried to the pharmacy to get medication, got back to her car and found that she had locked her keys inside:

The elderly woman found an old rusty coat hanger left on the ground.

She looked at it and said.

“I don’t know how to use this.”

She bowed her head and asked God to send her some Help.

Within 5 minutes a beat-up old motorcycle pulled up, driven by a bearded man who was wearing an old biker skull rag.

He got off of his cycle and asked if she needs help?

She said:

“Yes, my daughter is sick. I’ve locked my keys in the car. I must get home. Please, can you use this hanger to unlock my car?

He said. “Sure.”

He walked over to the car and in less than a minute the car was open.

She hugged the man and through tears said.

“Thank You, God, for sending me such a very nice man.”

The Biker heard her little prayer and replied.

“Lady, I am not a nice man. I just got out of prison yesterday, I was in prison for car theft.”

The woman hugged the man again, sobbing.

“Oh, thank you, God! You even sent me a ‘professional”

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A Farmer Lived Alone With His Pet Dog https://lorevista.com/a-farmer-lived-alone-with-his-pet-dog/ https://lorevista.com/a-farmer-lived-alone-with-his-pet-dog/#respond Mon, 15 Apr 2024 03:00:40 +0000 https://lorevista.com/?p=73940 A Farmer Lived Alone With His Pet Dog.

A farmer named Patrick lived alone in the Irish countryside with his pet dog:

The dog finally died, and Patrick went to the parish priest, saying.

“Father, my dog died. Could you possibly say Mass for the poor creature?”

Father Murphy told the farmer.

“No, we can’t have services for an animal in the church, but I’ll tell you what, there’s a new denomination down the road and no telling what they believe in, but maybe they’ll do something for the animal.”

Patrick said.

“I’ll go right now. By the way, do you think €5,000 is enough to donate to the service?”

Father Murphy exclaimed.

“Sweet Mary, Mother of Jesus! Why didn’t ya tell me the dog was Catholic?”

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