Christmas was coming, and Little Johnny’s Mom and Dad took him to the mall to see Santa Claus.
Johnny walked up and sat on Santa’s lap and said, “Santa, for Christmas I want a bloomin’ darn new baseball bat and I want it to be put under my bloomin’ darn bed.”
“I want a bloomin’ darn new baseball glove, and I want it put under the bloomin’ darn Christmas tree.”
“And Santa, I want a bloomin’ darn new bike and I want it put under a bloomin’ darn tarp in the bloomin’ darn shed.”
Santa, in complete shock, pulled Little Johnny’s parents aside and said, “In all my years, I have never seen a little boy with such a foul mouth.”
His parents replied, “We know, but we have no idea what to do about his behavior. We’ve tried everything.”
Santa thought about it and said, “Here’s what we’ll do to teach him a lesson, every place that Johnny asked for a present, we’ll put a pile of dog poop.”
The parents agreed to try Santa’s plan.
On Christmas morning, Little Johnny woke up and immediately looked under his bed.
Seeing the pile of poop, he ran downstairs to the Christmas tree and checked underneath.
Finding another pile of poop under the tree, he ran out the door and threw open the shed door.
Finding a tarp in the shed, he quickly pulled back the tarp and found yet another pile of poop.
Johnny walked out of the shed and started looking all around the yard.
After a while his parents asked him, “So Little Johnny, what did you get for Christmas?”
Without missing a beat, Johnny looked at his parents and said,
“I think I got a bloomin’ darn dog, but I can’t find the bloomin’ darn thing!”