The officer asks, “How do you know?”

“Well,” she says, “He keeps calling this woman ‘honey’ and ‘sweetheart,’ and he even calls her ‘my love.’”

The officer sighs and says, “Ma’am, that’s just how people talk on the phone.”

The woman says, “But he doesn’t even know her phone number!”

The officer looks confused. “He doesn’t know her number? How does he call her?”

The woman rolls her eyes and says, “He calls her from the toilet!”

The officer bursts out laughing. “Ma’am, you’re hilarious! What makes you think he’s talking to someone else?”

The woman says, “Because he’s always yelling, ‘Hold on a second, I’m going to get a roll of toilet paper!’”

4th Place:

While in line at the bank one afternoon my toddler decided to release some pent up energy and started to run amok. I was able to grab hold of her arm after receiving looks of disgust from other patrons. I told her that if she didn’t start behaving herself, right now, she would be punished. To my horror she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening. “If you don’t let me go right now, I will tell grandma that I saw you kissing daddy’s willy last night.”

After this enlightening exchange, the silence was deafening. Even the tellers stopped doing what they were doing.

I mustered the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow.

The last thing that I heard as the doors closed behind me were screams of laughter.

3rd Place:

It was the day before my 18th birthday. I was living at home, but my parents had gone out for the evening, so I invited my girlfriend over for a romantic night alone.

As we lay down in bed after making love, we heard the telephone ring downstairs. I suggested to my girlfriend that I give her a pigggy back ride down to the phone. Since we didn’t want to miss a call we didn’t have time to get dressed.

When we got to the bottom of the stairs the lights suddenly came on as a whole crowd of people yelled SURPRISE.

My entire family – Parents, grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins as well as my friends, were standing there. My girlfriend and I were frozen in a state of shock and embarrassment for what seemed an eternity. Since then no one in my family has planned any surprise parties.

2nd Place:

A lady picked up several items at a discount store. When she finally got to the checkout she learned that one of the items had no price tag or bar code.

The checkout girl got on the public address system which boomed out across the store for everyone to hear. “Price check for Tampax super size.”

But it got worse. Someone at the rear of the store apparently misunderstood the word ‘Tampax’ for ‘thumbtacks’ and replied in a businesslike tone, his voice booming over the same public address system. “Do you want the kind that you push in with your thumb or the kind that you belt in with a hammer.”

1st Place:

And the winner is……

This happened at a major Australian University during a biology lecture.

A professor was discussing the high glucose levels found in semen. A young woman raised her hand and asked. “If I understand you correctly, you are saying that there is as much glucose in male semen as in sugar?”

The professor responded yes adding some statistical data. Raising her hand again the girl asked. “Then why doesn’t it taste sweet?”

After a stunned silence the whole class burst out laughing. The poor girl turned bright red and as she realised exactly what she had inadvertently said, she picked up her books and without
another word walked out of the class.

However as she was heading for the door the professors reply was a classic….

Totally straight faced, he answered her question. “It doesn’t taste sweet because the tastebuds for sweetness are on the tip of your tongue and not at the back of your throat.” lol
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Credit Goes To The Respective Owner

Before Travis left for the party, Micaela wrote a cheeky message on his chest with a marker, complete with a sly warning to potential admirers: “This is my husband—touch him, and you’ll pay—M.” Travis laughed off the joke, promising to be home early despite his tendency to enjoy a few too many drinks.

However, later that evening, Micaela noticed something peculiar when Travis returned home. Beneath her original message, someone had scrawled a cryptic response: “Keep the change.” The words sent a shiver down Micaela’s spine, filling her with a growing sense of unease.

Travis brushed off her concerns, attributing the mysterious message to the playful antics of his friends at the party. But Micaela couldn’t shake the feeling that something was off. She found herself replaying the events of the evening, wondering who could have written that ominous phrase and why.

As the days passed, Micaela’s suspicions continued to grow. She confided in her mother, who suggested a drastic measure: tracking Travis’s car using a GPS device. Micaela was hesitant at first, but her mother’s words echoed in her mind: “Don’t you want to know the truth?”

With a sense of trepidation, Micaela followed Travis’s car one evening, watching as he pulled into a driveway in an upscale neighborhood. Her heart racing, she observed as Travis conversed with a woman at the door, their conversation hushed and intimate.

Micaela’s world was turned upside down as she confronted Travis and the mysterious woman. But instead of the defensive response she expected, the woman offered a shocking statement: “You deserve better than this.”

In that moment, Micaela’s life changed forever. The revelation of Travis’s infidelity marked the end of their marriage, but it also signified a new beginning for Micaela. As she walked away from the wreckage of her relationship, she felt a spark of freedom and a newfound sense of strength.

The road to recovery was long and arduous, but Micaela emerged stronger and more resilient than ever before. She rediscovered her passions, reconnected with loved ones, and slowly rebuilt her life. In the end, Micaela realized that sometimes, it’s necessary to let go of something precious to discover something even more valuable: oneself.

Imagine going fishing with someone you love, sharing laughter, quiet moments, and the thrill of the catch. Now, picture that same experience years later, when one small fish brings back a flood of memories—so powerful that it brings tears to his eyes.

Why did he cry?

It wasn’t just any fish—it was the fish they had caught together during one unforgettable trip. The memories of that day, the bond they shared, and the love they had for each other all came rushing back. And in that moment, seeing that familiar creature once again, he was overwhelmed with emotion.

This story isn’t just about fishing; it’s about the power of memories and how a simple trigger can transport us back to cherished moments. Sometimes, even the smallest things can remind us of the people who meant the most to us.

What memory has brought you to tears?

Is it a song, a photo, or perhaps a shared experience that continues to live in your heart?

“This must be a mistake,” the husband said. “We barely stayed here!”

“No mistake,” the male receptionist said cheerfully. “The fee includes access to our Olympic pool, spa, and conference center.”

“But we didn’t use any of that!”

“Yes, but they were available to you,” he replied with a grin.

The husband scribbled a check for $50 and handed it to him.

“This is only $50,” he said, puzzled.

“That’s right. I’m charging you $300 for sleeping with my wife.”

“But I didn’t!” he protested.

“Well,” the husband said with a shrug, “she was available!”

One freezing night, my husband and I were jolted awake by the loudest pounding on the door. Grumbling, he dragged himself out of bed to see who it was.

When he opened the door, a man stood on our porch, soaking wet and shivering. “Excuse me,” the guy said politely, “can you give me a push?”

My husband scowled. “Are you serious? It’s three in the morning! And it’s freezing out here!”

He slammed the door and stomped back to bed, still muttering.

“Who was it?” I asked sleepily.

“Some guy wanting a push,” he replied, clearly annoyed.

“Did you help him?”

“Help him? No way! It’s pitch dark and pouring rain!”

I gave him a look that could melt ice. “Do you remember when our car broke down last winter? Those kind strangers who pushed us out of that ditch? Don’t you think it’s our turn now?”

With a groan of defeat, he got dressed and stepped outside into the cold as I watched from the window.

“Hey, where are you?” he called out to the guy.

“Over here,” the voice replied.

“Where exactly?”

“On the swing set!”

The look on his face when he stormed back inside, dripping wet, was priceless.

Gerard, Howard, and Norman were three successful brothers who wanted to outshine each other with the most impressive gift for their mother’s 90th birthday. They gathered at dinner to boast about their presents.

“I built a sprawling mansion for Mom,” Gerard said with a smug smile. “It’s got ten bedrooms, a library, and even an indoor pool.”

Howard chuckled. “That’s cute. I sent her a Tesla with a personal chauffeur who’s always on call. She’ll never have to drive herself again.”

Norman leaned back in his chair, his smile even bigger. “Amateurs. I sent Mom a brown parrot trained for twelve years by monks. It knows the entire Bible. All she has to do is name a verse, and it will recite it perfectly.”

A week later, their mother sent thank-you notes.

“Gerard,” she wrote, “the house is lovely, but it’s far too big. I only use one room, and I have to clean the entire place!”

“Howard,” she wrote, “the car is beautiful, but I don’t go out much, and the driver has a temper worse than your father’s.”

“Dearest Norman,” she wrote, “you’re the only one who truly understands me. The roast chicken was delicious. But it was pretty small.”

Norman realized his “biblical” bird had become dinner instead of delivering divine inspiration.

One breezy morning, I decided to take a walk through the park. The usual park sights greeted me — families picnicking, kids chasing each other, and joggers sweating through their morning routines. Then I spotted something unusual: a frail old lady, sitting all alone on a bench, weeping quietly into her hands.

“Excuse me, ma’am,” I said cautiously, “are you alright? Is there something I can do for you?”

She looked up at me with watery eyes and said, “Oh, young man, I have the best life anyone could ever ask for.”

This was not the answer I’d expected. Curious, I took a seat next to her. “That sounds wonderful,” I said gently. “What’s making you so upset?”

With a wistful sigh, she began her story. “I’m married to a 22-year-old man who treats me like a queen. Every morning, he brings me breakfast in bed — fresh waffles, syrup, and a latte just the way I like it. He massages my feet afterward to start my day right.”

“Wow,” I said, nodding, “that sounds amazing.”

“Oh, but there’s more,” she continued. “He cooks me a gourmet lunch every afternoon, serenades me with his guitar while I relax in the garden, and spoils me with candlelit dinners. He even writes poetry just for me!”

I was thoroughly impressed. “He plays the guitar for you? How romantic! That sounds like a dream. But why are you crying?”

She sniffled loudly, tears streaming down her cheeks. “Because… I can’t remember where I live!”

I bit my lip to suppress my laughter, but let’s just say it didn’t work. I chuckled so hard that I might’ve needed a tissue myself.

Who needs therapy when you have jokes like these? This collection is a five-course meal of laughter, with each joke serving a double dose of chaos and absurdity. We’ve got grandmas crying over perfect husbands, siblings trying too hard to impress Mom, and a blonde outsmarting a genius so hard he’s still recovering.

These jokes will tickle your funny bone harder than a feather in a comedy club. Get ready to laugh like no one’s watching… because they probably are, and they’re wondering why you’re in tears!

1: When I Went to the Park and Found Granny’s Crying Confession
Ever come across someone whose life seems straight out of a fairy tale, only to realize reality had the last laugh?

One breezy morning, I decided to take a walk through the park. The usual park sights greeted me — families picnicking, kids chasing each other, and joggers sweating through their morning routines. Then I spotted something unusual: a frail old lady, sitting all alone on a bench, weeping quietly into her hands.

“Excuse me, ma’am,” I said cautiously, “are you alright? Is there something I can do for you?”

She looked up at me with watery eyes and said, “Oh, young man, I have the best life anyone could ever ask for.”

This was not the answer I’d expected. Curious, I took a seat next to her. “That sounds wonderful,” I said gently. “What’s making you so upset?”

With a wistful sigh, she began her story. “I’m married to a 22-year-old man who treats me like a queen. Every morning, he brings me breakfast in bed — fresh waffles, syrup, and a latte just the way I like it. He massages my feet afterward to start my day right.”

“Wow,” I said, nodding, “that sounds amazing.”

“Oh, but there’s more,” she continued. “He cooks me a gourmet lunch every afternoon, serenades me with his guitar while I relax in the garden, and spoils me with candlelit dinners. He even writes poetry just for me!”

I was thoroughly impressed. “He plays the guitar for you? How romantic! That sounds like a dream. But why are you crying?”

She sniffled loudly, tears streaming down her cheeks. “Because… I can’t remember where I live!”

I bit my lip to suppress my laughter, but let’s just say it didn’t work. I chuckled so hard that I might’ve needed a tissue myself.

2: Three Sons Compete Over Who Got Their Elderly Mother the Best Birthday Present
Siblings love to show off, especially when it comes to pleasing their parents. But this time, their mother had the last laugh.

Gerard, Howard, and Norman were three successful brothers who wanted to outshine each other with the most impressive gift for their mother’s 90th birthday. They gathered at dinner to boast about their presents.

“I built a sprawling mansion for Mom,” Gerard said with a smug smile. “It’s got ten bedrooms, a library, and even an indoor pool.”

Howard chuckled. “That’s cute. I sent her a Tesla with a personal chauffeur who’s always on call. She’ll never have to drive herself again.”

Norman leaned back in his chair, his smile even bigger. “Amateurs. I sent Mom a brown parrot trained for twelve years by monks. It knows the entire Bible. All she has to do is name a verse, and it will recite it perfectly.”

A week later, their mother sent thank-you notes.

“Gerard,” she wrote, “the house is lovely, but it’s far too big. I only use one room, and I have to clean the entire place!”

“Howard,” she wrote, “the car is beautiful, but I don’t go out much, and the driver has a temper worse than your father’s.”

“Dearest Norman,” she wrote, “you’re the only one who truly understands me. The roast chicken was delicious. But it was pretty small.”

Norman realized his “biblical” bird had become dinner instead of delivering divine inspiration.

3: The 3 a.m. Push Request That Went Sideways

It’s one thing to ask for help, but knocking on someone’s door in the middle of the night is a whole other level of bold.

One freezing night, my husband and I were jolted awake by the loudest pounding on the door. Grumbling, he dragged himself out of bed to see who it was.

When he opened the door, a man stood on our porch, soaking wet and shivering. “Excuse me,” the guy said politely, “can you give me a push?”

My husband scowled. “Are you serious? It’s three in the morning! And it’s freezing out here!”

He slammed the door and stomped back to bed, still muttering.

“Who was it?” I asked sleepily.

“Some guy wanting a push,” he replied, clearly annoyed.

“Did you help him?”

“Help him? No way! It’s pitch dark and pouring rain!”

I gave him a look that could melt ice. “Do you remember when our car broke down last winter? Those kind strangers who pushed us out of that ditch? Don’t you think it’s our turn now?”

With a groan of defeat, he got dressed and stepped outside into the cold as I watched from the window.

“Hey, where are you?” he called out to the guy.

“Over here,” the voice replied.

“Where exactly?”

“On the swing set!”

The look on his face when he stormed back inside, dripping wet, was priceless.

4: A Recently Single Woman Buys a Flashy New Corvette
When life gives you lemons, some people buy a Corvette.

A newly divorced woman decided it was time to splurge on something that screamed independence. She drove off the lot in a shiny red Corvette and hit the highway, ready to embrace her new chapter.

Feeling the thrill of the open road, she floored it, hitting 90 mph. Then 100. But her joyride came to an abrupt halt when flashing lights appeared in her rearview mirror.

“Maybe I can outrun him,” she thought, pushing the car harder. But common sense prevailed, and she pulled over.

The officer approached, his face a mix of exhaustion and irritation. “Ma’am, I’ve had a long day. If you can give me an excuse for speeding that I’ve never heard before, I’ll let you go.”

She didn’t hesitate. “Last week, my husband ran off with a cop. I thought you were trying to bring him back!”

The officer tried to keep a straight face but eventually burst into laughter. “Alright, ma’am,” he said with a chuckle. “Have a nice day.”

5: The Husband’s “Creative” Way to Handle a Hotel Bill
Some people handle unfair situations with logic. Others handle them with pure genius.

After a long drive, a couple decided to stop at a fancy hotel for some rest. Upon checking out, they were presented with a bill for $350.

“This must be a mistake,” the husband said. “We barely stayed here!”

“No mistake,” the male receptionist said cheerfully. “The fee includes access to our Olympic pool, spa, and conference center.”

“But we didn’t use any of that!”

“Yes, but they were available to you,” he replied with a grin.

The husband scribbled a check for $50 and handed it to him.

“This is only $50,” he said, puzzled.

“That’s right. I’m charging you $300 for sleeping with my wife.”

“But I didn’t!” he protested.

“Well,” the husband said with a shrug, “she was available!”

6: A Harvard Graduate Sits Next to a Young Blonde Lady on a Flight
Never underestimate anyone, especially on a long flight.

A Harvard graduate spotted a blonde woman sitting next to him on a flight and decided to have some fun. “Let’s play a game,” he suggested. “I’ll ask you a question. If you don’t know the answer, you pay me $5. Then you ask me a question, and if I don’t know, I’ll pay you $500.”

She agreed.

“What’s the exact distance between Earth and Mars?” he asked smugly.

The blonde handed him $5 without a word.

Her turn. “What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?”

He pondered, searched the internet, and asked everyone around, but he came up empty. Frustrated, he handed her $500.

“So, what’s the answer?” he asked.

She smiled, handed him $5, and said, “I have no idea.”

And there you have it: proof that life’s biggest laughs come from the most unexpected places. Who knew a parrot, a hotel bill, and a swing set could bring us to tears? If you’re grinning ear to ear, you’ve officially joined the “Laugh Till It Hurts” club.

Remember, a day without laughter is like a day without Wi-Fi… unbearable. Now go spread these jokes and be the hero of your next group chat!

Laughed out loud? Well, let’s keep that laughter rolling with these 4 ridiculous actions of entitled husbands that prompted their wives to teach them epic lessons that were laugh-worthy and insightful.

“In fact, I do,” said the old man. “After I have love I am usually hot and sweaty, and then, after I have it with her the second time, I am usually cold and chilly.”

After examining an elderly woman, the doctor asked, “Everything looks fine. Do you have any medical concerns you’d like to discuss?”

The woman shook her head and said she had no concerns. The doctor then added, “Your husband mentioned something unusual. He said after being intimate with you the first time, he’s hot and sweaty, but after the second time, he’s cold and shivering. Any idea why that might be?”

The woman chuckled and replied, “Oh, that silly old man! That’s because the first time is in August, and the second is in January!”