Blonde jokes may be a classic, but they never fail to surprise.
When this young, blonde PE teacher tried to cheer up a seemingly shy student, she found herself in a hilarious mix-up that could have come straight from a sitcom. Some misunderstandings are just too funny — and this one’s a perfect example of why blonde jokes keep us laughing!
A young blonde landed a job as a physical education teacher for a group of 16-year-olds. As she supervised the students playing soccer on the field, she noticed one boy standing alone at the far end, away from the group.
Feeling sympathy for the boy, she approached him.
“Hey there, everything alright?” she asked kindly.
The boy nodded. Sensing his reluctance to join the game, she encouraged him, saying, “You can go and have fun with the others, you know.”
To her surprise, the boy shook his head.
“I think it’s best if I stay here,” he replied.
The teacher inquired further, “And why is that, honey?”
The boy looked at her confused and said, “Because I’m the goalie!”
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BONUS: BLONDE JOKE #1
A manager at Walmart had the task of hiring someone to fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack of resumes, he found four people who were equally qualified. He decided to call the four women in and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine which of them would get the job.
The day came and as the four women sat around the conference room table. The atmosphere was tense and competitive, but they still managed to stay friendly with each other.
The interviewer asked, “Now, what is the fastest thing you can think of?”
The first woman replied, “A thought! It just pops into your head. There’s no warning – it just happens, like that.”
She snapped her fingers demonstratively, happy with her quick answer.
“That’s very good!” replied the interviewer. “And, now you, what’s the fastest thing you can think of?” he asked the second woman.
“Hmmm, let’s see… A blink! It comes and goes so fast that you don’t even notice it happening. A blink is the fastest thing I know.”
“Excellent!” said the interviewer. “The blink of an eye, that’s a very popular cliché for speed.”
Unexpected reply
He then turned to the third woman, who was contemplating her reply carefully.
“Well, out at my dad’s ranch, you step out of the house and on the wall there’s a light switch. When you flip that switch, way out across the pasture, the light on the barn comes on in less than an instant. Yep, turning on a light is the fastest thing I can think of.”
The interviewer was very impressed with the third answer and thought he had found the person for the job. “True, it’s hard to beat the speed of light,” he said.
The interviewer then turned to the fourth candidate, who was a 19 year old blonde, and posed the same question.
She replied, “After hearing the previous three answers, it’s obvious to me that the fastest thing is diarrhea.”
“WHAT!?” exclaimed the interviewer, stunned by her reply, his mouth gaping.
“Oh sure,” said the blonde, “You see, the other day I wasn’t feeling so good, and I ran for the bathroom. But before I could think, blink, or turn on the light, I had already crapped my pants!”
BONUS: BLONDE JOKE #2
18-year-old blonde causes chaos on plane – pilot whispers 6 words that shut her up instantly
A commercial airplane is in flight to Chicago. One of the flight attendants is asking a young and beautiful blonde, who sat on a free seat in first class, to go back to her seat in economy class.
“You’ve only paid for economy class,” says the flight attendant.
“I’m blonde, I’m beautiful”
The confident 18-year-old woman responds:
“I’m blonde, I’m beautiful, I’m sexy, I’m going to Chicago and I’m not moving from this seat!”
The flight attendant asks a few more times but eventually gives up. So she asks the co-pilot for help, but he gets the same response:
“I’m blonde, I’m beautiful, I’m sexy, I’m going to Chicago and I’m not moving from this seat! Stop annoying me!
Young blonde
Then the co-pilot goes back to the cockpit and asks the captain what to do.
“What do they look like?” asks the captain.
“A blonde, probably not even on her twenties yet.”
“I’ll handle this,” replies the captain. “I’m married to a blonde. I speak blonde.”
He goes back to first class, leans down next to the woman and whispers quietly in her ear.
Everyone is sh0cked
Then she hurries back to her seat in economy class — and sits with her arms crossed while mumbling.
“Why didn’t they say that from the beginning…?”
The flight attendant and the co-pilot are shocked, so they ask the captain what did he say to her.
Captain response:
“I told her that first class isn’t going to Chicago.”
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